


Swordplay

by Hatsage7



Series: NaNoWriMo 2019 [3]
Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dildos, F/F, Multi, Teasing, does it belong in the Teasing tag if the character is just being precocious?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23945287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsage7/pseuds/Hatsage7
Summary: Time and time again, the comparison had been made between cocks and swords, and as one of the few undisputed masters of the latter, Artoria has a number of thoughts on the former.Saber buys a dildo to help her feel better about herself. Tohsaka Rin is a thirsty girl. Shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Artoria Pendragon | Saber & Tohsaka Rin, Emiya Shirou/Arturia Pendragon | Saber/Tohsaka Rin
Series: NaNoWriMo 2019 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533854
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Swordplay

The door to the Emiya(-Tohsaka-Pendragon) household swung open. The cozy, quintessentially Japanese home had changed precious little in the few years since the end of the Holy Grail War, yet those small differences spoke volumes. The many red turtlenecks and jackets of Rin Tohsaka, a reminder of the most significant relationship that had flourished over the years, had long since forced any clothing belonging to the (many) other women in Shirou’s life into the coat closet. The extra placemats and cushions around the dining table were similar indicators of how many people had found family and meaning after the (nearly bloodless) end of the aforementioned war. Even the thin layer of dust that never quite seemed to leave the tallest shelves and bookcases, along with the smell of frying meat and onions and seasonings with simple (but always elusive) names, spoke to the fact that Shirou was busier caring for the people in his life than maintaining a perfect status quo. Entropy, subtle but very welcome, had made its home here.

Artoria (formerly the Saber servant, but not for many years now) stood in the doorway and tried to take it all in. It was still hard to understand that she had a home again, too.

She sighed and dropped her keys in the bowl by the door loudly, both to shed some of her stress and announce her arrival. She had to remind herself that she could let go of parentheticals -- some things could be taken at face value, without unnecessary explanations (though some things were still nuanced enough to --) 

She stopped herself. The whole point of today was to indulge in reality, not languish in her own head. “Shirou, it’s me! Is everybody else still out for the day?” 

A few moments passed and Artoria had to suppress very loud instincts to leap over to the kitchen and make sure that Shirou wasn’t in any actual danger. Sure enough, her… (former master? Housemate? Lover?) her friend stood up from his kneeling position behind the counter with headphones covering his ears. His wide-eyed expression immediately warmed as soon as he finally took her in. “Artoria! I’m surprised you’re back so soon! The others are still at the park, I’m just getting an early start on dinner.” His eyes drifted to the black plastic bag in her hand. “Ah, did you go shopping?”

She clutched the bag a little closer to her body. “Oh, yes, just some new accessories and what-not. Another small step towards being a modern woman, I suppose Rin would say.”

Shirou nodded politely, then perked up. “Oh! Rin came home a little earlier. She’s in her room right now, so try not to set her off when you go up there.”

She smiled despite herself and called back over her shoulder as she started up the stairs. “Indeed, I shall endeavor not to play loud music, or quiet music, or use the shower, or breathe too loudly…”

“Ha! She’s in a good mood, she’ll probably just blame me if you say that I was flirting with you.”

Artoria just shrugged and smiled, allowing Shirou to go back to tending the food and hoping that it wasn’t too obvious she was taking the stairs two at a time.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Artoria sat on her bed, having changed into the tights and very loose, ruffled white shirt with long sleeves that she wore in place of more fitting bedwear. Despite having been purchased (as a joke or rare show of sincerity -- and there she went, adding unneeded clarification again) by Illya from a Renaissance Fair, the outfit was comfortable, durable, and -- most crucially -- _non-gendered_.

She looked at the bag and deliberately avoided opening it for as long as possible. In its own way, family was harder than servitude. When she was called upon as a Saber, the expectations of her master were always clear: serve, fight, protect, die. Simple. Painful, but simple.

Figuring out who she needed to be was less simple, and more painful. She enjoyed wearing white shirts and black suits that showed off her broad shoulders, but her chest was always just a little too tight. Shirou and Rin gave her such wonderful looks when she wore dresses -- and once a more _regrettable_ outfit with stockings and a skirt that were improperly sized in _just_ the right way -- and she certainly enjoyed that aspect of modern courting, but she felt entirely too feminine in anything that didn’t cover her entire body. Illya was perhaps the one person in the family with any useful fashion advice -- but on some days she just didn’t want to dress like a woman. 

Artoria let out a soft groan. In truth: her family was too honest. Too understanding. She missed having to pretend sometimes. God help her, she missed when family meant deceit and cunning and knives in the dark. She missed the days when she afforded Morgan a little too much leniency, gave just an inch of slack in her rope, and then tasted something sour in her wine and had to excuse herself before the sensations surging through her body yielded visible results.

She allowed herself to get lost in memory. She remembered what it was like waking up the next morning, naked in a servant’s bed, too sweaty and too large. She remembered the torrent of emotions that swept her away when she realized Morgan had turned her into a man, and above all else the utter _wonder_ at what having manhood felt like. _Finally_ being respected fully by the rest of her court and having to retrain her muscle memory in accordance with her newly bestowed strength and very slightly reduced speed (and the lack of breasts throwing off her center of balance, of course). 

Most vividly, she remembers being delicately and frustratingly teased by the Queen, brief whispers and briefer touches inflaming her passions to no end, and then the night they had spent finding new ways to fit together, and then the night a week later when she had run off into the woods with Morgan glamoured quite convincingly as Guinevere, and they had --

They had made Mordred. Certainly the most complicated and regrettable family could ever be.

The actual _making_ had been delightful, though.

And now, centuries later, Rin and Sakura and all the others (except for Shirou’s hands-off approach, bless and keep him) had thought that she needed more trappings of womanhood. It was fine until it wasn’t, and she was left missing --

Goddammit, she couldn’t wait any more! She grabbed the bag and upended it onto the bed, pouring out the many things she had purchased from a sex store. A gratuitous set of lingerie, condoms, lubricant, and the true prize: the phallic, blue, confusingly-named, six-inch strapless strap-on.

She chewed on her lower lip. There were several ways she could rationalize it: she was feeling useless without an enemy to fight, she was feeling impotent as the only unattached person in a sea of couples -- several euphemisms regarding her status as a “Saber” class had continually plagued her thoughts, despite their immaturity. 

  
  


She missed having a cock. It was as simple as that.

  
  


She shed her tights and removed the vibrating bit from the grip of the toy -- that aspect was decidedly more dangerous than fun. She also decided to forgo any lubricant in favor of slipping it inside of her as quickly as possible. It was a tad rough, but she wasn’t planning on doing anything with it, ideally ever.

She turned around and regarded herself in her room’s full length mirror. Artoria had initially opposed such a vanity (and she especially disliked seeing herself in the mirror), but Rin seemed very invested in the idea of being able to see oneself and one’s outfit in their entirety.

Right now, she agreed _fully_. Wearing a loose shirt and nothing else, she could almost imagine that she was a man again. If there were ever a moment that vanity was necessary, it was now. 

Time and time again, the comparison had been made between cocks and swords, and as one of the few undisputed masters of the latter, Artoria had a number of thoughts on the former. The weight between her legs was comfortable despite forcing her to change her stance, much in the same way Excalibur was when she still had Avalon. She ran her hand up and down its smooth, silicon length, and despite clearly not being of her, it was a part of her. An extension of her, sensitive to the smallest touches and grips. She was pleasantly surprised at not only how well it filled her grasp, but also at the way each tug and twist sent pleasure up to the grip in her womanhood. It wasn’t quite a cock, or a sword -- but it was _very_ nice.

Blue had always been her color, she supposed.

She continued regarding herself in the mirror, feeling the slightest bit silly but otherwise immensely pleased with herself for making such a perfect purchase, when her door opened behind her.

“Sa-berrrr,” Rin trilled, bursting in with her trademark patience and consideration for others, “Shirou said that you --” She stopped, saw the reflection of blue erection Artoria had gained since the morning, and assumed precisely the same wide-eyed look of surprise that the blonde woman also saw on herself in the mirror.

Silence filled the room. Artoria tentatively broke it.

“It’s… not what it looks like?”

Rin blinked. Then she closed the door.

“Saber,” she said in a careful voice, creeping forward quietly as if sneaking up on a skittish animal, “did you buy a _dildo_? By _yourself_?”

“Credit where it's due,” she said, turning ever so slightly away from Rin, “the salesman was very knowledgeable. He narrowed down the selection considerably.” 

“...can I see it?”

She briefly considered pointing out that lying to Shirou and retreating to her room clearly signalled a desire for privacy. She also considered the simplest way to get Rin to leave the room… and swiveled around to point the toy at Rin. She avoided making eye contact as the magus stared at it, and stayed very quiet as Rin gradually sank to her knees to inspect it closer.

The reverence in Rin’s voice when asked, “Can I touch it?” was uniquely off-putting, and Artoria was unable to do anything but nod and try to focus on every piece of furniture in the room. She was unprepared, therefore, to stop the involuntary gasp she let out as Rin’s hand wrapped gently around the shaft of her cock. It just felt so _good_.

“This is… decent material. Nice heft. Great color.” She looked towards the bed. “Did you buy flavored condoms?”

She felt heat rush to her face. “I was… curious.” She looked down and risked making eye contact with Rin, whose gaze flew up to meet her own with an eager smile on her face.

“Oh, _Artoria_ , that’s perfect! I’m helping you break this thing in,” she decided as she crawled confidently over to the bed.

Artoria scrambled forward and stopped shy of actually physically restraining her. “N-no, Rin, that’s not necessary. I really just wanted to --”

She was interrupted by Rin grabbing her by the wrist and twirling her around to sit on the bed. “Listen, I’m a patient girl, Saber -- I’m okay with dropping hints about a three-way that go over your head -- but when you go out and buy a _strap-on_ without me, I feel like maybe we just aren’t communicating.”

Rin was, in fact, very far from patient -- she had stormed her way into a relationship with Shirou years ago and since then had repeatedly kissed Artoria several times after getting “wasted” on a single shot of sake. She made her affections very clear; Artoria simply wasn’t sure that she was capable of returning them in the way that she wanted.

Right now, half-dressed and visibly aroused, sitting on her bed with Rin preoccupied rolling a banana-flavored condom over her cock, Artoria’s feelings were no less confused. “Rin, please, I actually didn’t buy this phallus for the sake of having sex.”

The other girl gave the King of Knights a distinctly unimpressed look. “W-well, not _just_ for sex, at least.”

“You mean to tell me that you didn’t tell Shirou anything about this?”

“No! We’re not as -- we don’t have sex as often as you seem to think, Rin.”

Rin rolled her eyes, but seemed at least somewhat satisfied by the answer. “Sure. Do you mind my asking the real reason you bought this, then?”

“I just wanted to… admire myself. Surely I’m allowed to appreciate certain aesthetics.”

Rin smirked in a way that usually meant she was about to utterly humiliate someone. “You know, that does actually make sense. Let me give you another “aesthetic” to appreciate.” Rin planted her lips at the very base of Artoria’s stand-in cock, brushing against her wet folds as she drew her tongue aaaaall the way up to the tip, sensually staring at Artoria with lidded eyes all the while.

She shivered and bucked her hips ever so slightly, unable to suppress her desire. The sight of Rin on her knees debasing herself was powerful enough to make her desperate for more, even with the sensations as mild as they were.

“I like you, Saber. And as much as I’d love to actually have sex with you,” she said, punctuating her statement with a tender kiss and a flick of her tongue, “I think you _really_ want to watch me suck your cock.”

Artoria’s breath was labored, her face red and lined with sweat out of sheer anticipatory lust. “...you won’t take “no” for an answer, will you?”

Rin smiled, then immediately dipped her head and took half of Artoria’s length at once, stealing another gasp from her. Rin smirked up at her, lips pulled taut around the silicon member, as her head bobbed up and down in a fast but controlled rhythm.

Artoria groaned and closed her eyes, tilting her head upward. It was all so sudden, and she did _not_ do sudden especially well. She needed time to adjust to these new feelings, the new sound of Rin’s mouth moving up and down the silicon member. Rin gave a reassuring little hum, her hand moving in to gently stroke the unattended-to remainder of the strap on, sending another shiver up Artoria’s spine.

She placed a single hand on the top of the other woman’s head, gently gripping the luxuriously soft gray hair and applying a modicum of pressure. Rin’s lips went further and further down with each bob of her head, and Artoria was thrilled when she actually felt the tip thrust into the hollow of Rin’s throat. Rin moaned again, louder and far more performative, and _finally_ , Artoria gave into temptation and actually opened her eyes to the wonderful sight of Rin on her knees, desperately trying to take more and more of the blue phallus. Seeing Artoria looking at her, she pulled herself off of the member with a loud pop and smiled, hand still idly stroking away.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were going to watch the show at all, Saber~. I’m not just doing this for my health, you kn-- mmph!” Her eyes went wide as Artoria thrust back into her mouth, suddenly and inconsiderately cutting her off.

She fought back what would have been a rapturous moan, and continued bickering with her not-quite-girlfriend. “A-ah, Tohsaka! If I had k-known that all it took to shut you up was a cock in your mouth, I w-would have made this purchase _long_ ago.”

Rin’s brilliant green eyes flashed with determination and arousal, the overly harsh words stirring conflicting emotions inside of her. Rin’s competitive streak was simultaneously her greatest strength and most obvious weakness, and Artoria knew it. Rin’s mouth didn’t slow its pace for an instant, even as one of her hands reached lazily upwards to grope at Artoria’s breast through her shirt. She suddenly twisted a nipple, and this time the King of Knights was unable to suppress a high-pitched yelp.

That short, sharp shock was too much to bear. Artoria fell back onto her bed utterly undone. She was a woefully soft touch, but it couldn’t be helped -- Rin was simply too good at this. “Fuck! P-please, Rin! Don’t -- please -- yes! Yes! _Yes!_ ” Her speech deteriorated rapidly as Rin moved faster and faster, roaming hands fiercely assaulting Artoria in all the right places as Rin continued to deep-throat her member. Artoria’s own hands were thoroughly tangled in Rin’s hair, alternating between petting her and carefully pulling her twintails up and down in time with the blowjob.

Artoria’s cries became throatier and louder, filling the room. “Rin! I’m -- oh, _Rin_ \-- ” She shut her eyes again, bucking her hips a full foot off the bed, stars behind her eyes as she climaxed. A few quick clenches, lust and warmth and wetness flowing around the grip still held firmly inside of her -- she was quickly spent. 

She collapsed back onto the bed, still breathing heavily. She imagined her real cock, red and twitching, far more sensitive than the strap-on. She imagined making a horrible mess on Rin, seed hastily spilt all around her mouth, dripping from the corners of her mouth and ruining her sweater, and moaned at the depraved image. She imagined --

And then suddenly, she felt a body above her own, a hand gently caressing her cheek. She opened her eyes to see Rin, (disappointingly) clean and smiling fondly.

“Can’t you at least have the decency to look a little less gorgeous when you orgasm, Saber?”

Artoria blushed sheepishly. “S-sorry.”

“Oh, shut up,” Rin said with a playful smile. “If anything, you should be apologizing for that line about shutting me up with your cock. I’m _soaking_ wet now, you horrid little tease.” She pinched her cheek and ground her hips against the strap-on, emphasizing her point.

Artoria, in a feat of superhuman willpower, managed to avoid looking at the other woman’s panties, to see if they were in fact soaking wet. “Rin, when I said that I didn’t want to use this just for sex, I really meant it. I’d rather not use it in such a manner -- a-at least not today.”

Rin set herself down on top of her, her breasts pleasantly squishing against her own. She lifted her rear up into the air and let it drop, sending a jolt to Artoria’s sensitive womanhood and causing her to moan embarrassingly. “And when _I_ said that I was helping you break it in, I also meant it. You think I’m done after the world’s fastest blowjob?” She gave a predatory smile, then spoke again in a drawling, seductive tone. “Come on, Saber, tell me you don’t want to take that big, _hard_ dildo, and shove it _all_ the way up my --”

Rin’s vamping was interrupted by a knock on the door. Shirou’s voice came through muffled, but clearly disappointed. “Sakura, Rider, and Taiga just came home. Will the two of you be joining us at the table, or do you want to wait until Illya arrives and I have to explain the noises coming from up here to her, too?”

Artoria flushed a deep crimson, embarrassment scalding her face. Rin, with no such impairment, shouted, “Shirou, come in here! You have to see what Saber bought today!”

“No! S-Shirou, do _not_ come in here, please! Rin and I will be out in just a moment!”

There was silence from the other side of the door. “Artoria. Is Rin _**s** **upposed**_ to be in there?”

Rin gulped. Shirou was using the Emiya Voice that he only broke out when he was especially mad. “S-she’s fine, Shirou! I… invited her in here. Things got out of hand, sorry about the noise!”

“Oh, okay, no problem then!” Shirou was back to his usual chipper tone, to Rin’s audible relief. “Let’s put this on hold until after dinner, yeah? Be downstairs in five!”

“Thanks, Shirou!” Rin smiled, but still waited until Shirou’s footsteps had gone downstairs before rolling off of the other woman. She stood up, facing away from Artoria, and smoothed out her outfit. “You, King of Knights, are an evil, evil woman, seducing an innocent maiden and forcing her to service you.” She turned around. “But really, did you enjoy yourself? I wasn’t too...” She trailed off, the barest hint unease creeping into her expression.

Saber shifted forward on the bed, taking Rin’s hand in her own. “You were wonderful, as always. I did have a good time, even if it wasn’t quite what I wanted. In the future,” she said with a gentle squeeze and a raised eyebrow, “I think I will have to be a little more assertive about where my boundaries lie -- but this was quite pleasant.”

A heartbeat. Rin’s expression softened into one of genuine relief, then returned to an exuberant smile just as quickly. “Gee, Saber, “quite pleasant” -- that’s the way every girl wants to be described in bed! Next time, I might even be “mildly adequate”!”

Artoria blushed and laughed, despite herself. “Rin Tohsaka is incapable of ever being mild or adequate: she excels at everything she puts her mind to. Now, let me put on my pants, and get the hell out of my room.”

Rin placed her hands to her cheeks and formed an o-shape with her mouth, pretending to be shocked by her harsh words. She walked backwards out of the room like that, shutting the door with a soft click.

Artoria collapsed onto her bed. Family. What a mess.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this fic! I spent a lot of time belting out a number of fics detailing a Rin/Shirou/Saber slowburn, and after half a year of editing, this is the only one I could get a beta for, and the rest get to live in editing hell until they're ready.
> 
> I'd like to stress that a) Saber has so much shit going on it's not even funny and b) RIN AND SHIROU ARE DEFINITELY ADULTS! THIS TAKES PLACE YEARS AFTER THE END OF THE ANIME!!!


End file.
